I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
