Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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