peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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