Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we're making bets on your personal life
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
