4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
