I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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