So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
