You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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