Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
