I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
