i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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