sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
