why do cheetos always look like penises
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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