i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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