I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was like eating out sand paper
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
