She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
