he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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