I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
