You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
