Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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