I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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