Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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