help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
