dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
