Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
