I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
