You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
