Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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