Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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