U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
