After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
