Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
