New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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