Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
