please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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