Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
