Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
