well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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