Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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