talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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