I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
