Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
