Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
