Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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