I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
