in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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