how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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