but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this just has baby written all over it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
