Already got asked if we're dating
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
