**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
